Today is September 11th. We all know what that means now - the anniversary of one of the biggest tragedies in modern American history, the 9/11 terrorist attacks. It's been 25 years - a whole lifetime. There are grown-ass adults, some with kids of their own already, who weren't even born when the disasters happened.

Living in Seattle, you'd think we'd have been too far from the east coast crashes to be as affected, but you'd be wrong. Every American knew somebody who worked in those towers, or lived in New York, Pennsylvania, or Washington D.C. where the hijacked planes were used as weapons. We all know someone who died or survived, or lost someone close to them. And, of course, there was the whole significance of the U.S. being attacked on its own soil (by non-Americans) for the first time ever. (Hawaii was not yet a state when Pearl Harbor was bombed in World War II.)

I remember waking to the news, watching the devastation on the news- every channel, every station- and watching as the second tower was hit and we all, collectively, knew it was not an accident. The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach was echoed across the world, I'm sure.

The moratorium on air travel for three days created an unexpected oasis for me. I live in central Seattle, beneath the flight paths to Sea-Tac (SEA) airport, where the landing gear comes down pretty much right above my home. For years, I would notice the electro-magnetic disruptions this caused to my home: Antenna TV pictures would wobble, and once we had digital television, the screen would go blue for a few seconds. Both my landline telephone and my cell phone experienced disruptions - dropped calls, static, etc. when the planes fly overhead. But for three days, there were no planes. My shoulders dropped- I hadn't even realized I'd been holding tension due to the airplane noise and electronic disruptions. 

The feeling of a nation holding its breath was palpable. 

I keep meaning to get back to posting here, but somehow I haven't. 

 Back in the beginning of this decade, I started a new website Michele Cacano Writes. The intention was to host a blog as well as offer events like classes and workshops. I booked space for six workshops in 2020-- one every two months. The first one, "From Page to Publication" went swimmingly. The second one, "2020 Vison: Taking the Leap" had 15 signups, but one attendee. It was Feb. 29th, 12 days before the Lockdown due to the Covid pandemic. 

I didn't make the shift into online classes. I just didn't have them. I never wrote another blog post there, either; not that I've been so very active here, either. Like many, I've struggled with managing my time and expectations, my goals and my reality. While I am still (forever) a major night owl, I find my self awake but not productive most midnights. And that is OK, but I do feel less anchored to writing time than I was pre-pandemic. I used to do much of my writing in cafes, but I no longer go do that (they all close too early now and I'm on a different schedule). I am still planning on resuming events, though, later this year. 

At the start of the 2020s, I mused over what the coming decade might look like. Would it have a catchy nickname like the 1920s? I posited mostly rhyming alternatives for the Roaring Twenties, leaning towards the "Restoring Twenties," for myself, as I was just 14 months post-diagnosis for my anemia. 

So, here we are in 2025...how's it going?

I still don't have the energy I used to...the physical stamina and brain fog is real. Whether it is a leftover of my anemic years, my ADHD worsening due to perimenopause, or some other fatigue, I couldn't say. No matter what the reason, the effect is just as discouraging. But, I'm still working towards better health and energy. 

 I shift between periods of active periods of writing and submitting and less active periods of low energy and brain fog, where not much gets done. 

The Meetup Mess

For 17 years, I ran the Seattle Writers Meetup on the Meetup site. Meetup was a great hub for community: Anyone could join for free, select their interests, and find and join groups that meet online or in person for anything from hiking, to movie clubs, to French conversation practice, to wine enthusiasts, to book clubs, to cooking clubs, and anything and everything in-between. If you started your own group, you paid an annual fee, but members joined for free (although some clubs did charge fees for attendance and events, it was optional). In 2017, WeWork bought the site. The made some changes, raised the annual fee, but it was still pretty good. Then an Italian venture capitalist group bough it, and started removing more features, and jacked the price up 100%, then another 100%, and also started charging membership fees for everyone. There was little technical support for the few features left, and the prices were too damn high. I let the subscription expire in January of this year.

I researched alternatives, but nothing as of yet comes close to what Meetup was. The important features to have are:

•  the ability to be found by prospective new members
• working calendar of events with notifications (optional for members)

The features we used to have but no longer do, and would be nice to have again:

• saved documents for resources and information
• message boards or forums for member-to-member communication
• searchable photobooks and posts

I decided to just make my own website for the group, and use Eventbrite for the outreach portion. 

This project is still very much in progress, but I hope to have it up and running for June 2025.

I plan on shifting from an ongoing drop-in Monday critique round table to blocks of time. For instance, August open Monday nights in person, September Workshops and/or manuscript reviews, December online open feedback, March feedback meetups for screenplay writers or novelists, April meetings to critique poetry specifically, etc.

Change is hard. I am hoping to make this new model work as well as the old one!

Seattle Writing Day Workshop Seattle 2023

April 29th was the Seattle Writing Day Workshop, at the Seattle Convention Center. I have participated as a volunteer with them for years, but this was the first year I was a presenter. I'm such an overthinker, I prepared three different handouts, 3-4 pages each. Everyone seemed happy to have them, though! 

There were around 150 attendees to the conference. After lunch, I led the "Writers Got Talent! First
Page" panel, with four of the attending agents giving feedback to the anonymously and randomly chosen first pages. Always a valuable experience to listen to the impressions made and advice given by the folks who do this on a daily basis. 

Following that, I made my presentation, "Writing Is Not a Solitary Act," where I discussed different types of writing groups and their benefits, how to find one or create or your own, and the basics of giving and getting good feedback.

Surprisingly, I forgot to take photos all day! Very unlike me. Thanks to Edwin Staples, I have these two shots of me in my presentation. 

Despite people coming in and out (mostly to attend their appointments with agents, to pitch their manuscripts), I had a good audience. Most attendees were very engaged, and I was happy to be able to answer many questions regarding writing groups and feedback. I love you question-askers!

I will be happy to present again in the future, on this or another topic. 

It was fun to meet a few members of my Monday night writing group in person, for the first time, since we have been meeting on Zoom for three years. As always, chatting with my writer friends that worked as volunteers at the event was great, too. It's hard to make time to see everybody... events like this are a good excuse to catch up!

Seattle Writing Day Workshop 2023

 I'm excited to be a part of the Writing Day Workshop, here in Seattle this coming Saturday (4/29). I'll speaking from 2:45 until 3:45:

 Writing Is Not A Solitary Act: 

Understanding Writing Groups, Beta Readers, and Exchanging Critiques. 

How do you find writing peers? How do you gauge a peer’s skill? How do you give and take useful feedback? This class will help you find writing group friends who can aid your journey and help you improve your work, whether you meet with those people online or in-person.

 You can still register ahead of time or on site. Check out the details here:

https://theseattlewritingworkshop.com/

2021 Writing Goals & Resolutions May Check-in

 I've been setting Top 3 Priorities for each month, and, so far, that seems helpful. 

April's Goals: 

😃 1. Camp NaNoWriMo - 20K words on a new NF book on women in business. - Yes, I wrote just over 20K!

😕 2. Submit 4 Pieces for publication - Nope, but I have 3 things ready to go that I plan on homing soon.

😃 3. Go through the drawer - Find pieces to work on, finish, edit, etc. and submit them - I went through the folders of 2014-2019, and found 14 pieces that have promise. I am working on them.

May's Goals: 

1. Revise and polish four poems to send out.

2. Revise and polish one old short story (from the drawer)

3. Make four submissions (carry-over)

~    ~    ~

    I recently discovered a writer I know sends forty submissions out each month. That floored me. I started out years ago with my first submission goal of 3 for the year, then hit that in three months, so moved it up to 6. I have been aiming to get one piece out per month, maybe even one per week, but the thought of forty.... that's more than one per day! I'm sure she is submitting the same piece to multiple places, and tweaking it for reuse, but still-- I am feeling challenged. I am not going to raise my bar just yet, but I am doubling down on making those subs this month.

    I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the number of unfinished projects I have going. I feel the need to finish them and get them out, but keep switching from project to project, getting each closer, but not yet done. Hoping to overcome any internal blocks I may be putting up myself, as a self-sabotage or procrastination.

    Every time I look to submit my poetry, I get weird about it. It's personal writing. It feels more personal and more vulnerable than prose, even my memoir stuff. So, when I look at publications, I feel like I am not ready, or maybe I'm not a real poet (old fears about not going to college), and they aren't good enough, or I don't have enough good, finished poems. I am taking a Hugo House class this weekend on Poetry Revision, so hopefully that will help me get over that doorstep to publishing poetry.

    So, that's where I'm at in my writing journey. I have more plans for revision and submission in June, and plans for a new screenplay project in July. 

   

2021 Writing Goals: The 2020 Reboot

 Hello... it's been a long time. Like most of you - and the world - I feel like I'm simultaneously standing on a cliff, hanging from this time one year ago (when the world stopped for COVID-19), and speeding through time, barely registering, much less remembering, all the crazy things that have happened since February of 2020. 

Since my birthday is the first of February, I've always treated that as my new year's day. January is just the warm-up, where I shake off the previous year and reset myself for the year to come.

In a nutshell, my 2020 Goals / Resolutions included:

• Rebuild Writing Routine
• Schedule Write-Ins (at cafes, etc.)
• Create and Maintain Checklist of Tasks and Projects
• Use Spreadsheet to track Writing Goals
• Get back to submitting short stories for publishing
• incubate story ideas
• write stories
• edit and revise stories
• find appropriate markets
• submit stories for publication
• Write Non-fiction book
• On Writing (Holistic)
• Massage & Health Related Topics
• Ocean
• Finish Poetry Project
• Finish Memoir
• Editing Projects - keep a few going throughout the year
• Teach six writing workshops
• Jan: From Page to Print
• Feb: Vision Boards for Life and for Projects
• April
• June
• September
• November
• Platform Building and Marketing
• Create and update Wordpress site
• Make Health Newsletter more widely available through sign-up
• Health Focus 
• Continue to raise mental and physical energy: build iron, work towards optimum balance and health with vitamins, food, exercise, etc.
• Daily Meditation (at least 5x week)
• Daily Act of Spiritual Practice 
• Daily Walking
• Financial Health
• Build Sanctuary Fund to allow for more time off for writing and travel
• Open a SEP-IRA Retirement Fund
• Travel
• LA in Sept
• MD & NY in Oct
• Florida - when?
• Scotland? 

So, how did I do?

Clearly, the travel plans did NOT happen. I also did not open an IRA, or get money set aside for writing trips and travel. Lockdown sapped my creative energy for a few months, too. And there was always the worry about money - would I get unemployment assistance as a self-employed person? (Yes, but not much.) Would I be able to see any clients for massage therapy? (Yes, a few... managed to keep the business open and the bills paid.) How long would this pandemic last?!? I knew it wouldn't be over by May 2020 or even September 2020, as I heard so many say. But here we are in February 2021, and I think we will be still masking up and dealing through this year... possibly into 2022. Sigh...

I did not finish any of the listed long-term projects, although I have worked on most. I also have yet to submit anything for publication...that will be a carry-over goal! I do have a number of nearly-ready pieces, though, and plan to get most of them homed in the next three months. I kept up on my spreadsheet of writing goals (need to start the one for 2021, though!), and I planned and produced the first two workshops - Jan & Feb - but, of course, the pandemic put a stop to anything beyond March. I could have shifted to online classes, but felt unmotivated to teach from my bedroom or my massage office. I need the designated space of a classroom - I had rented community center space to hold my classes, and I set up the tables and chairs and snack station and everything the way I wanted it. I will look forward to resuming those in 2022.

While my writing routine did not go as planned - I like to write in cafes, and had been meeting other writers to add to that energy - I did manage to get much writing done. I joined a friend's small writing group in July for Camp Nano (of NaNoWriMo.org) and wrote 3/4 of a NF book. The group continued, and we still meet up to 6 times a week (not all of us make every day) for writing time, workshopping, and games. I aim to make 3 each week, and usually manage that. 

I was great at daily walks, daily meditation, and regular workouts through most of 2020, but fell off the wagon around Oct/Nov and have been avoiding the wet outdoors since. But I chalk 2020 up as a WIN for health, fitness, and meditation goals.

So, what's my 2021 Resolution List?

1. Continue Building Writing Routine
1. Camp Write-Ins 3x week
2. Make new Goals spreadsheet and maintain
3. Aim for earlier-to-bed and earlier-to-rise schedule so I can get some writing and tasks done before work/family time/etc. (my goal is to sleep between 1/2/3 AM and 9:30/10:30/11:30 AM)
4. Tweak Calendar system to better find and hit deadlines and goals
2. 
   Writing Projects
1. Get those short stories out for publication - at least 6 this year; 3 by June
2. Keep working on memoir
3. Finish NF book
4. Finish Poetry Project and find a home for it
5. Finish MG Ghost Story book
3. Platform Building and Marketing
1. Reconnect with writing and publishing community
1. Hugo House
2. Conferences?
2. Finish websites so all are connected and people can sign up for newsletters
3. Blog regularly
4. Look at doing shorter online workshops?
4. Health Focus
1. Keep working on creating optimum health 
1. Vitamins & supplements
2. Healthy Eating
3. Check-in with Naturopath
4. Get iron checked when possible (post-COVID- July?)
2. Daily Routines
1. Walking
2. Meditation
3. Workouts
5. Home Office & Writing Space
1. Try to make time and money to finish clearing out Spare Room and set up a new desk and workspace for myself - open shelves, project boards, etc. 
2. Keep motivated at home with dedicated writing time and space (currently folding desk in BR)

October Update

These past nine months have been both slow and fast. Some of the slowness is much appreciated; the chance to stay home and rest, develop close relationships, and not feel guilty for not "getting out there" and "doing more" has opened eyes to the way we've set up our lives and the manic pace many of us maintain. But so many more people are not able to find those pleasures, because the stress of being an essential worker or, conversely, no longer having a job to work at all. Trying to navigate the unemployment system, scrambling to keep food on the table and a roof overhead - and none of us knowing how long this quarantine and pandemic life will last. I'm lucky that I have a partner, and we both managed to get approved for unemployment. We each work a fraction of the time we used to work, but we have little debt and are managing.

I've had every intention of posting a new blog. My last one here was August 2019. I had a family trip to Florida in September 2019, where my husband, my brother, and I visited with our mother and spent time with our dying father. He passed away August of this year, and I'm sorry I didn't get one more visit in, but am grateful for that one last year.

I had a half-formed idea for a novel that I tried for NaNoWriMo 2019. I wrote almost half - 22k words - before I shelved it for another time. (Still fighting that anemic fog!)
 

In December, I focused on creating six writing workshops. I built a new website on Wordpress (But I have to admit, I'm still learning how to do it!). I rented a great space, and held the first one in January. The second one was visual storytelling through vision board collage, held on Leap Day. There was already a weird buzz in the air about the highly-contagious respiratory coronavirus, and   my turnout was very lower than expected. We had a good workshop, anyway. Of course, a week later, the world was shutting down for quarantine. 

      

My day job as a massage therapist was out of the question. I've never had so much time away from it! My husband's catering business dried up in a flash. And yet, with all that free time... I could write nothing but cleaning protocols and health tips.

Some days in May, more in June, I managed to work on a poetry project I had started in December (still in progress).

I joined a friend's writing group for Camp NaNoWriMo in July. I set a goal of 35k words, and came close - 30k - on a non-fiction manuscript (still working on it!)

August started with my annual GISH scavenger hunt, and I did a lot of fun things, including painting on black velvet, creating watercolor with tea and coffee, writing and recording a slam poem, a protest song, and an interview with a shelter dog. I donated my voice to the Human Voice Bank, and helped raise money for charities benefiting Criminal Justice Reform and Nothing But Nets (fighting malaria around the world). All this creativity gave me a good kick in the pants.

Finally, half-way through September, I started to feel a few fiction sparks. I did a flash fiction story for a NYC Midnight competition, which I actually like. I plan on working it a bit more soon - making it longer and developing the concept more. I also wrote a short screenplay that will most likely stay in the "thanks for the practice" category, and one more this past weekend that I like better.

I've gotten more tips to tweak my health recovery process - taking my iron and magnesium supplements thirty minutes apart, and thirty minutes before or after eating, with just vitamin-c/OJ. Seems like that is improving my absorption rate, and my iron (ferratin) was up to 37 in July (on a scale of 15 to 150, where I started at 5).

Three months to go until 2021. I am NOT about to say "I can't wait", "good riddance to 2020" etc. because in 2020 time, three months is equivalent to half a decade. And, we can make significant changes in our lives on both the micro and macro scale in those three months. If nothing else, I believe this crazy year of pandemic and disaster will push everyone to re-evaluate what's important.

I bought the latest oracle deck created by Colette Baron-Reid, called The 7 Energies.

 As I become familiar with these cards (used as focal points for meditation and reflection), I've drawn three cards about once or twice a week. Inevitable, no matter what question I pose, one of the cards that turns up is that number 33, "Ears Wide Open," which speaks of deep listening as a way to immerse ourselves in the truth of the world/ When we are fully present, we open our hearts and minds to that which is communicated through more than words. And, often, it is in these subtle clues that we are given opportunities for more than we could have imagined.



I am doing my best to put down the phone and be fully present in each moment. Attempting to do less multi-tasking, and more mindfulness. I am interested to see what I might see that I might've missed, in the coming months.

Overcoming Obstacles to Writing Consistently

Sit down and write. Butt in chair, words on page. Just write something - anything - every day. We all know these mantras, right? This is classic, stalwart, trustworthy advice. But most new writers ask, "how?" 

I'm not a new writer. But I've had some setbacks the past few years in my health and my energy level was barely enough to function at the minimum level of my life; nothing left for creativity. I was unable to maintain many practices: Social events, exercise, walking, summer lake swimming, reading, writing, attending conferences and classes of any kind, teaching classes of any kind, housework, etc. I didn't even realize how much I'd eliminated from my life until this summer, when my iron levels are finally starting to rise above chronic deficiency.

Iron deficient anemia and the ensuing lethargy and low energy was my main obstacle to writing. I couldn't stay awake long enough to even think clearly. I'm better, still improving (I expect to hit my prime iron level target in 15 months, which is November 2020), but feeling foggy as hell whenever I sit down to write, still. I sit, like now, and wonder where my notes are, which project I should work on, and how to get back to where I was in the revision process on now four-year-old works. I also have a couple of important projects I am editing and assisting other writers with, and one joint project that needs attention. 

Is it a case of the shoulds? I "should" be writing, I "should" be editing, I "should" be submitting...

Perhaps. There is something to the idea that we often self-sabotage and talk ourselves out of even the most rewarding aspects of life. Shoulds are things we worry about, avoid, don't want to do, don't feel able to do, feel overwhelmed by, feel guilty about, think we need to do, feel expected to do by others, or otherwise get weighted down by. This burden weighs on us, limiting our happiness and ability to be in the moment. And Lightness, Being in the Moment (Presence), and Feeling Free are all needed to be creative, open, exploratory, and productive. 

Here is a list of things I do (and plan to do) to get out from under the weight of the Shoulds:

1. Make a List. Write it down, write it down, write it down. This is my go-to advice for most problems! (I am a writer, after all...) Today, the first thing I did after sitting down to write (and thinking all those foggy thoughts) is pull out my notebook and a pen. I write down all the things I "Should" be doing - working on memoir, editing book, writing query letters, researching topics, submitting shorts and poems - and write about the feelings I have about those things. Is anxiety a feeling? I mostly feel that. And guilt, for how much time has passed without progress. I also feel a physical lump in the pit of my stomach. And a rush and a push to get going! Those feelings are actually stopping me from doing the items on my list.
   
   So, you make the list. Everything. I should walk every day. I should cook more at home. I should go visit my parents. I should call my relatives. I should cancel my subscription to a magazine I don't read. I should save money. I should get that tooth implant. I should figure out to build my brand. I should finish organizing that spare room. I should buy shelves. I should practice my foreign language skills. I should clean out my car.
2. Breathe. 
• Take a deep breath in. Fill your lungs, stretch your rib cage open, relax your shoulders. Breathe out, letting all the worry float away with your breath. 
• Breathe in, feel the air flow into your head, neck, back, shoulders, arms, hands, fingers... breathe out and let them all relax. The air flows through your body like a river, cleansing.
• Breathe in, down your spine, through your hips, thighs, knees, legs, and feet...breathe out and let your feet sink into the floor. 
• Picture your invisible roots, like a tree, spreading into the earth deep below, and let the little knots, anxieties, worries, negative thoughts, etc. flow out into the ground, away from you. The deep elements of the earth will recycle unwanted energy. 
• The roots draw clear, clean, nourishing energy up into your body, like a tree or plant draws energy up through the roots. Picture this flow of energy. Breathe. Feel grounded.
3. Go Back to the List. No write down why you should do each thing.
   I should clean out my car because I'll get better gas mileage, it's safer, and it won't be bothering me each time someone else gets in my car.
   I should work on my memoir because I want to get it published.
   I should work on the editing because I told that writer I would do it.
   I should get the tooth implant because my bite could go wrong in time without it.
   I should buy shelves and finish organizing so that I can have more room to do art and stuff.
   
   Dig deep; find the origins of those shoulds.
   
   ...to do art and stuff... because I am an artist that is frustrated by a lack of working space and easy access to art supplies. I want to be more creatively productive.
   
   
4. Questions to ask yourself about the list items:
   1. Is this something you want/need to do for yourself or is it someone else's expectation? (i.e. I "should" get up every morning by 9 AM... because that's what society expects adults to do. (not good reason for me!)
   
   2. Is your should-item realistic or based on unattainable ideals?
   For example, if you are always on a diet to lose that last ten pounds, are you keeping yourself from enjoying food, social activities, certain clothes or trips or events? What will that "perfect" weight or clothing size really get you? Or your housework - do you never invite guests over because your home is not magazine-perfect? Is it relatively clean and functional? Isn't that what's important? If not, what is? Why?
   
5. Take time to reflect on these answers. Use these list items and responses as journal prompts, exploring further the ideas of goals and priorities, influence and self-image.
   
   Shoulds often mask deeper fears and resistance to change. If we should do something, and we know it, why aren't we? Is it time for a change in your life that you are reluctant to make? Why? Are you afraid of failure? Of not being perfect? Of not being good enough? Of not having anything to look forward to in the future if you accomplish your "someday" goals?
   
   
6. Shift your focus. Rewrite your list, substituting the phrase "If I really wanted to, I could..." for every "should". This change from guilt-ridden "I should" to the positive possibility of "I could" opens us up to what we really want and what we are capable of.
   
   
7. Creating a path forward: How do these new sentences make you feel? Is it clear which ones you actually do want to do, and which ones you don't?
   
   Ask yourself these questions:
• What truly matters to me right now?
• Who has done what I want to do successfully? Who are my role models? Whose advice do I trust?
• How do I want to live my life? What are my core values? What makes life worth living?
• Will striving towards these goals bring about the changes I want to see in my life? In the world? How will achieving these goals make my life and/or the world a better place?
• Are there other ways to achieve these goals? Have I considered all my options? Have I left room for the unknown and unexpected? Sometimes help comes from strangers, answers come in leaps and bounds, and we don't always know the outcome of our actions. Be open.

What We Take In Influences What We Put Out - Media Influences on Creativity

Been trying hard (I think) to get back on a regular writing schedule since recovering my energy (still working on that - 2-3 years of anemic lethargy). I've made some strides - planning a 4-hour writing afternoon mini--retreat once a month with my writing group (we've done two), setting up some times to work on writing and editing projects at home, my office, and at my current favorite cafe... attempting to set up some accountability partners and such. But results seem to be...not as expected.

I am at that cafe now. I've been here for two hours. Planned to work on some writing. But, alas, I have not... what have I been doing instead?

• Online chatting with 2 friends in other countries - good to catch up, though!
• Texting with a local friend regarding a mutual friend in another country...
• Group chatting with my scavenger hunt team - our annual hunt begins in four days!
• A little bit of emailing and updating event pages...

Not entirely unproductive, but not what I planned either. 

And now I am at a crossroads - my car repair is complete, and I can go get it and help a friend with some apartment hunting before my writers group meets tonight, or I could stay here and actually try to get to some of the writing tasks I had planned to do. So, obviously, writing this blog post is the logical next step, LOL.

I have been feeling very "out of phase" lately. Like an episode of Star Trek, I am in a time bubble moving slower than the world around me. I don't actually feel slow, but since time is speeding by me, I must be in another space-time dimension, right?

I've downloaded an app called Podcoin, too. Unrelated, I know, but it is incentivizing me to listen to more podcasts, something that has been on my To-Do list for years. IN the past, the only podcasts I've enjoyed and listened to with any frequency have been Writing Excuses and Welcome to Nightvale. Starting in February, after much prodding by a friend of mine (and fellow Buffy fan), I began listening to Buffering the Vampire Slayer, and a I caught up to season 4, the accompanying podcast Angel on Top. I am caught up now - they are both on summer hiatus. So, I've been trying other podcasts. 

Two that I am really enjoying are My Favorite Elliot Smith Song (each episode is 15-20 minutes long - yay - and features a musician or celebrity discussed their favorite Elliot Smith song) and My Favorite Episode (a Variety produced podcast hosted by Michael Schneider), where TV stars and producers gather to discuss their favorite TV episodes ever, from classic shows to current series and their own work. At 20-30 minutes each, My Favorite Episode is also a digestible chunk of time. I recently tried to listen to Dax Shepard's podcast called Armchair Expert...good premise, good guests, but most episodes are about two hours long! I mean, can't he hire an editor? I may still pick at an episode of it here and there, but I have a lot of other media to consume. 

As writers and creators, what we consume can influence and inspire us in a multitude of ways. Obviously, the aforementioned podcast has kicked up my interest in listening to the music of Elliot Smith, as well, and I'm really enjoying (in that good, sad way) his last album, From A Basement On A Hill. I've also been listening to a few of my favorite classic Cure albums, mostly Faith, Pornography, and A Head On The Door. That retro audio trip has come about since I randomly had a dream I had last week about hanging out with Robert Smith and Simon Gallop and the band behind the scenes at a concert at the Moore in downtown Seattle. (That never happened never would happen and was sparked by I-don't-know-what!). I also went on an alt-80s binge, inspired by seeing Howard Jones (a dear favorite of my 14-year-old self!) and Men Without Hats perform live (my first time for both).

I was a volunteer for Lifelong AIDS Alliance last weekend at the Bellingham Pride Parade and Pride Fest. Decorating a Jeep as a float, passing out condoms and candy in a twenty-minute parade route, while a beautiful drag queen performer danced atop the "float" to such great songs as I'm Every Woman, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, I Feel Love, and Born This Way. 

I'm currently keeping up in real time TV with Fear the Walking Dead, Claws, and some late night TV, of course. I've watched the latest series of Stranger Things on NetFlix, and caught up on the latest Supernatural - seasons 13 and 14 - this past week. 

       

I've been terrible about making time to read...spending way too much time playing games on my mobile phone: my forever ones - Words with Friends, Boggle with Friends, Wordox, and Scattergories, as well as My Singing Monsters (been playing nearly 2 years) and the newly added Board Kings, Cookie Jam, Happy Glass, and Draw This. Yikes! Too much!

I am in the midst of reading some massage work related stuff - Oncology Massage, catching up on some industry journals, and refreshing my knowledge of Body Mechanics For Manual Therapists. I'm also (not) reading Craig Ferguson's newest memoir, Riding the Elephant, and a 1989 book by Mary Taylor Simeti called Sicilian Food: Recipe's from Italy's Abundant Isle. I am amazed and sometimes brought to tears by the familiarity of this book to my childhood. I had no idea how much of my family food history and personal food choices were so closely related and inspired by the history of Sicily... my blood speaks to me! Great stuff, as I delve back into those memoirs around my Sicilian family stories. 

So, my current media consumption seems to be centered around:

• My Sicilian heritage
• The melancholy music of my formative teenage years and twenties
• The television of my youth - childhood, teens, and twenties - and more recent favorites
• Stories of urban dark fantasy and horror

And I'm writing (or working on):

• Memoir from my teenage years and twenties
• Essays on women, culture, and alternative stories in media
• Short stories of dark urban fantasy, horror, and fairy tale
• Historical Fiction around my grandfather's teenage life
• Expanding my writing community and education

There's a lot going on, and I'm just trying to encapsulate and understand it. It's been an uphill battle to reclaim my creative life (as well as my social life), energy, and health, and it's not done, but I'm trying. I want to really build that train track and ride the momentum of routine, inspiration, and creative productivity. 

I bought this business planner called ifocus, to help me organize my project goals and time, but I haven't really sat down with it yet to learn it. I spent about half an hour with it, writing up my planned goals and uses for the journal...but I need to do more. On the to-do list...but maybe for AFTER my scavenger hunt week...

I also just downloaded an app called Time Track, to help me track how I spend my time. I did this the hard way last year, with an excel spreadsheet and color-coded entries... it is useful to see how we are spending our time. I will probably post about that progress in a few weeks.

I Attended the 2019 Chuckanut Writers Conference. Here's What Happened.

The 9th Annual Chuckanut Writers Conference took place at Whatcom Community College in Bellingham, WA, June 21-22, 2019, with optional events and master Classes on Thursday, June 20th.

I've been wanting to attend for several years, for several reasons:

1. Bellingham is not far from my home in Seattle - roughly a 90-minute drive makes for convenient attendance. I find it challenging to coordinate all it takes to travel to other cities.
2. I want to constantly learn, grow, and improve myself as a writer, a writing community leader, and a person. I find structured events like this work well for me. I can interact with other writers and people who love learning - a shared purpose. Perhaps I'll make friends, though that is not my primary goal, and perhaps I'll make contacts to connect with in the future, over writing, teaching, conferencing, travelling, publishing, etc. I love the energy that comes from sharing experiences and goals with others. 
3. I am hoping to attend several different conferences to see how they are run, what works and what might be improved/different, and help me to develop my own courses and conferences for writers. I think it's important for all of us writers to support each other every way we can.

I finally registered this year because:

1. I've been taking my iron and supplements for over a half a year and am feeling more energy. Previously, I knew I would likely miss much of any conference due to my constant need for sleep. Iron deficiency was stealing my time and my life.
2. I'm feeling slightly more energetic, and motivated to get back to all my previous goals, abandoned over the last few years in the wake of my anemia.
3. I have a friend in Bellingham who was happy to let me stay a few nights, which meant a.) I got to visit with him a bit, b.) I didn't have to do the 90-minute commute three days in a row, and c.) I didn't have to find a hotel room (challenging for my planning deficient ADHD brain, and added financial expense)

OK. I am compelled to share a quote from a stranger here, from an exercise in a Julia Cameron Artist's Way Workshop I took in April. These positive comments we give each other after sharing are called "popcorn" in her world:

You are a powerhouse and taking care of your energy levels is setting you up for a whole new experience.

 I am feeling that, now.

Back to the Chuckanut Writers Conference. I signed up for a Master Class on Thursday. I wanted to sign up for at least two of them, but the Laurie Frankel "Work + Magic: Strategies For Gettin' It Done" sold out fast. And to be honest, it was at 9 AM and I never would have made that. I woke up after that at home, and left around 11 AM to make it to my 1 PM class with Anastacia-Renee, and I still walked into the room 15 minutes late (sorry!). That class was called "Time Traveling and Time Keeping: Conversataions With Audre Lorde and Octavia E. Butler". There was another class that sounded great with Claire Sicherman called "Exploring The Authentic Voice" but that was also at 1 PM, and I had to choose. Since the Anastacia-Renee Time class was about interdisciplinary writing and dealt with peotry and sci-fi and literature, I went with that one. It required students to be familiar with the works of Lorde and Butler, which I am somewhat...Wanted to read more before attending, but that didn't happen. As it was, I have read Butler's novel Kindred and a several short stories (I own more book, in the waiting-to-be-read pile) and some of Lorde's essays and poems. I was eager to learn more - both about their work which is imaginative and strong, and them as women- feminists, queer, black, marginalized, ignored despite the merit of their work and words. I am so interested in the complicated tangles of gender and race, society and revolution, perception and imperception.

The class was small - 7 or 8 of us - and Anastacia-Renee is a seasoned professor. She clearly adapted the material to our levels, allowing us all to remain engaged with the material and the subject at hand while challenging us to break out of what we think has to happen. Writing exercises included learning structures like Haibun, a Japanese form that begins with one or two paragraphs of non-fiction/autobiographical statements, followed by a Haiku or Tanka centered beneath, creating a fat T-shape on the page. We also tried various methods for wringing the truth out of our subjects, conveying story and emotion in various ways, and just being brave and curious enough to try new things. New structures, new genres, new combinations of forms...whatever brings our work to the next level.

I wish there were more of these three-hour master classes - I would totally go to this conference another day or two to fit in more of these events.

After the class, I had two hours before attending the Chuckanut Radio Hour in Heiner Theatre on campus. They do these every month, open to the public, for a $5 ticket. Mine was included with my registration for the CWC. First, I got dinner at Goji Fusion - a not-very-spicy-but-pretty-tasty tofu phad thai - across the street from WCC. I also pored over the schedule to come, choosing my classes and planning my time.

The Radio Hour was scripted banter, sketch comedy, and local endorsements performed onstage (and broadcast on local radio station KMRE 102.3. It's probably available to stream somewhere, like here, and as a podcast or something, too, but I am leaving that to you seek out. This night's musical guest was Louis Ledford, a humorous reading from a local poet, and sci-fi author legend Terry Brooks was interviewed by Spencer Ellsworth. 

When I left the theater, I stopped at the Fred Meyer to pick up a few things on my way to my friend's house. He works from home, and was behind on a project, so after I settled in a bit and we had chatted for an hour or two, went back to it and I got some sleep.

The next day was Friday, Summer Solstice, and the official start of the CWC. The whole schedule of events is here, but basically it went like this: one speaker/lecture in Heiner Hall, four break-out sessions to choose from, lunch, another Heiner Hall lecture for all, a second break-out with four more class choices, followed by various evening events. Thursday was the Radio Hour, Friday was a Faculty Reading and Reception, Saturday had a final reception and book signing, followed by four Open Mic Events in four different locations around Bellingham's Fairhaven area.

I could talk more about each class and teacher, and I probably will, but for now, I just want to share my Final Thoughts and Impressions from the weekend of events. I think I will do that in another post.

I had not yet made it back to my friend's house to catch the sunset over the lake there, but did snap a picture from the Fred Meyer parking lot. Such a large and lovely sky.... full of clouds and colors that just make my heart soar, even here, over an expanse of asphalt and automobiles. 

I've pretty much only been to the heart of historic downtown Bellingham in the past (usually stopovers for breakfast or lunch on the way to Canada) and on actual Chuckanut Drive - the most scenic road anywhere - but never in the outlying areas of the city. A lot of seemed rural enough to remind me of my childhood home in Harford County, MD, with rolling hills, pastures, small farms, green fields, horses, tractors, and tree-lined winding roads.

I wonder if the sunsets are always spectacular, if it's special to the solstice and surrounding months of summer?


The rest of the weekend was filled with classes and discussions, lectures and readings, writing and connecting. Here are a few photos I took during readings and classes:

Laurie Frankel teaches "Writing About Writing"

Lyanda Lynn Haupt discusses "How To Manage Creative Anxiety and Procrastination" 

Faculty Readings on Friday Night

Faculty Readings on Friday Night

 It was great to hear the variety of work presented by the Conference Faculty. Some were funny, some were serious. There was poetry, excerpts from novels, pieces of memoir, and others. Some read from published work, others read from their works in progress.

It made me want to seek classes from some of the authors that I had not made time for, since one cannot do it all in a conference with simultaneous offerings.

Books were made available in Syre Hall throughout the conference, but some were sold in the theater lobby the night of the reading and reception. Attendees had the chance to talk to each author and get as many books signed as they desired. All books sold by Bellingham's Village Books.

Another Mercury Retrograde Post - Great for Writers

I can't help but notice the common element shared by my last two posts. One in March, and one five minutes ago in July, what do they have in common? They were both written during a Mercury Retrograde (Rx) period!

OK, we are not officially in that astrological phase again yet, but we will be in 4 days. (At 4:14 PM PDT, Sunday, 7 July 2019, the three week Rx of Mercury begins.) There is often a Pre-Rx and a Post-Rx effect, and this month I am definitely experiencing that. I have written a bit about the Mercury Rx phenomenon before (here and briefly here), and there is plenty more available at other sources (like here, here, and here. I won't go into it again...but suffice it to say, the Led Zeppelin song "Communication Breakdown" is its regular theme song.

So far, the Rx shenanigans are evident in these issues:

• Hulu has decided to be glitchy and do things like keep raising the volume with no way to stop it except unplugging the TV
• Cable Box started blinking and the Guide and ON Demand are both in Error Mode
• Random bad timing with banking deposits and auto-withdrawals for extra fees
• Mobile banking app not accepting deposit (can't read a check)
• Massage client having wrong time recorded for appt. ( luckily we sorted beforehand)
• Phone connection spotty (calls and web)

So, I'm expecting a bit of a rough July. Mercury goes Direct at 8:58 PM PDT Wednesday, 31 July. Then there's that shadow phase... But, I love the particulars of this event for us creatives:

These periods are great for writers, who can now go back and polish off written material. It is now easier improve the material with detachment when proofing, rewriting and revamping. This typically leads to a better result.

Perfect! Exactly what needs to happen. What else is Mercury Rx time good for?

Overall, these three week periods are great for getting caught up with paperwork, and mundane, routine chores. Return phone calls from months ago, etc. Chances are that you get to leave a message rather than communicate in person. Should you opt to buy something with wiring then keep the receipts handy or buy adequate replacement insurance.

I also think of these periods (typically 3x year)  as good for any "RE-" task:

• Reflect
• Re-check
• Re-evaluate, re-assess, re-analyze
• Revamp, rearrange
• Restate, reiterate
• Reclaim, re-assert
• Rectify
• Recommit
• Refine
• Rewrite
• Respond
• Reconnect
• Recharge
• Reinforce

Off to recharge.

Did I Write That? Rebuilding a Writing Practice After Health Issues or Getting Derailed

Today I remembered a story. It involved a woman...and her daughter? on a drive in the country, who end up staying at a remote estate with their genius host. The host is a philosopher or a scientist or something, and as they women spend more time at the estate, more is revealed to be out of the ordinary. I don't recall many of the details, and as this tale popped into my head, I tried to recall where or when I had read it, or who the author was.

Then I surprised myself by recalling that I was the author.

I started this story half a dozen years ago, during a NaNoWriMo month. I don't think I hit my 50,000 word goal, and I never finished it. I think I remember getting bogged down in that middle-of-the-book-bog that so often grips me in the process of longer works.

Now, I've mentioned before that my iron levels have been dangerously low, and I've been dutifully taking my iron supplements twice daily for eight months now. I am fairly certain my ferritin (stored iron) levels, while still in the "normal" range, have been dropping steadily for several years. Which has resulted in a major decrease in my physical and mental energy, ability to be active, productive, and even awake.



I've been remembering projects, ideas, plans, and dreams lately, feeling like Rip Van Winkle waking up to realize that years have slipped me, unused. I've lost a lot of time.


I didn't submit anything for publication the last two years. I didn't finish the memoir I was sure would be done two summers ago. I failed at every planned task of writing, editing, planning, and even attending workshops and writing conferences.




I don't know that I will go back to this story of mine, but the fact that I had completely forgotten writing it is telling. I sometimes feel the need to give myself a bit of space to grieve what I've lost (health, time, productivity), but also feel maybe more of a push just to get back to it. I'm still rebuilding my work schedule - my regular writing hours, time to the business of my writing, time to do the editing and work of other writers I've made agreements with... I'm sometimes asked: Do you have to time to do this? And the honest answer is, "I don't know," but I am eager to try.

Percolating and Planning

Mercury is in Retrograde... from March 5th until March 28th. If you are unfamiliar with this, it just means that from Earth, it looks like Mercury is going backwards in the sky. Actually, the fast little planet is just making its way around the other side of the sun ahead of us. Why does this make any difference to us? No idea, but it sure seems to. Mercury is the planet of communication, and when it goes retrograde (about three times a year) we experience breakdowns in communication: inexplicable network failures, computer glitches, failed credit/debit transactions, phone problems, failed alarms, and human interaction errors, too - missed appointments, misunderstandings, etc.

It's been helpful to me over the past couple of decades to be aware of this event, because I used to get really frustrated with my computer, spend hours trying to fix errors or glitches, then give up just to find everything mysteriously in working order the next day. I also make sure to double check and confirm all my appointment times/days/places, and do any of the "Re-" and "back" items on my list: repair, re-tune, reiterate, review, reassess, and back up, backtrack, back off. Rest, ruminate, and research.

OK, so anyway... I've been active on research this week. I've been researching writing conferences, workshops, and events and filling in my calendar, planning on which events I want to do. So far, I'm definitely doing a Spring Revision workshop with my friend and amazing writing coach, Sonya Lea in May, and I am leaning towards attending the Write on the Sound conference in Edmonds. I've always wanted to check it out, but it's in early October, and I always take my big two-week trip in September/October, so it's never worked out. Also, the PNWA Conference is in September this year, rather than July, so that will be a busy time.

I wrote up a list of some of these events, calls, and events of interest for a newsletter to my writers group. I used to keep a calendar on the Meetup site, but they removed some of the features I used for this. I switched to sending out news every month or two, but totally fell out of that habit during my Year of Anemia. No energy for those things...now it's coming back.

I have two major project ideas that I have been sitting on for at least two years. I am currently researching both...gathering information and hoping to get a plan of feasibility in place soon. More to come later!

First Post of 2019? Picking up where I left off...

Now, where was I?

Oh yes! Anemia! My January blood test showed my iron level up from 5 (on a scale of 15-150) to 18. I'm over the crest of "healthy" levels... although how can there be a 135-point range of healthy iron levels to begin with??) I am still taking iron supplements twice a day, and my brain and body are starting to wake up.

I still have a LOT to catch up on:

• Friends, family, social contact that was lost to the narcoleptic haze.
• Getting back to marketing and newsletters - both my massage therapy business and my writing group newsletters have been idle. I started several articles, started several update letters, but never could keep my eyes open or my energy up long enough to finish the writing and send them out.
• Writing Practice! Very important one, here. I bitched and moaned a few times the last two years, as my energy fizzled, about not having the right place/space and time to write available to me. There may be truth in that, but my lagging health was not helping. 
• Submissions! Goes along with the inability to stay focused and awake. Since my progress was in such small increments, I never really finished anything and therefore had nothing ready to submit for publication. Must rectify that gap in my resume, now. 
• Plans for further creating classes and teaching and facilitation writing events. 
• Personal goals like getting back to regular exercise and continuing to go through, sort, and purge old papers, books, media, and stuff; declutter and organize.

I keep remembering ideas I had before my energy was depleted. Now, these ideas are coming back to me and I am trying to prioritize them and the steps I need to take to make them reality. Everything from business ideas to travel goals to story ideas... they are back on the front burner.