I Attended the 2019 Chuckanut Writers Conference. Here's What Happened.

The 9th Annual Chuckanut Writers Conference took place at Whatcom Community College in Bellingham, WA, June 21-22, 2019, with optional events and master Classes on Thursday, June 20th.

I've been wanting to attend for several years, for several reasons:

1. Bellingham is not far from my home in Seattle - roughly a 90-minute drive makes for convenient attendance. I find it challenging to coordinate all it takes to travel to other cities.
2. I want to constantly learn, grow, and improve myself as a writer, a writing community leader, and a person. I find structured events like this work well for me. I can interact with other writers and people who love learning - a shared purpose. Perhaps I'll make friends, though that is not my primary goal, and perhaps I'll make contacts to connect with in the future, over writing, teaching, conferencing, travelling, publishing, etc. I love the energy that comes from sharing experiences and goals with others. 
3. I am hoping to attend several different conferences to see how they are run, what works and what might be improved/different, and help me to develop my own courses and conferences for writers. I think it's important for all of us writers to support each other every way we can.

I finally registered this year because:

1. I've been taking my iron and supplements for over a half a year and am feeling more energy. Previously, I knew I would likely miss much of any conference due to my constant need for sleep. Iron deficiency was stealing my time and my life.
2. I'm feeling slightly more energetic, and motivated to get back to all my previous goals, abandoned over the last few years in the wake of my anemia.
3. I have a friend in Bellingham who was happy to let me stay a few nights, which meant a.) I got to visit with him a bit, b.) I didn't have to do the 90-minute commute three days in a row, and c.) I didn't have to find a hotel room (challenging for my planning deficient ADHD brain, and added financial expense)

OK. I am compelled to share a quote from a stranger here, from an exercise in a Julia Cameron Artist's Way Workshop I took in April. These positive comments we give each other after sharing are called "popcorn" in her world:

You are a powerhouse and taking care of your energy levels is setting you up for a whole new experience.

 I am feeling that, now.

Back to the Chuckanut Writers Conference. I signed up for a Master Class on Thursday. I wanted to sign up for at least two of them, but the Laurie Frankel "Work + Magic: Strategies For Gettin' It Done" sold out fast. And to be honest, it was at 9 AM and I never would have made that. I woke up after that at home, and left around 11 AM to make it to my 1 PM class with Anastacia-Renee, and I still walked into the room 15 minutes late (sorry!). That class was called "Time Traveling and Time Keeping: Conversataions With Audre Lorde and Octavia E. Butler". There was another class that sounded great with Claire Sicherman called "Exploring The Authentic Voice" but that was also at 1 PM, and I had to choose. Since the Anastacia-Renee Time class was about interdisciplinary writing and dealt with peotry and sci-fi and literature, I went with that one. It required students to be familiar with the works of Lorde and Butler, which I am somewhat...Wanted to read more before attending, but that didn't happen. As it was, I have read Butler's novel Kindred and a several short stories (I own more book, in the waiting-to-be-read pile) and some of Lorde's essays and poems. I was eager to learn more - both about their work which is imaginative and strong, and them as women- feminists, queer, black, marginalized, ignored despite the merit of their work and words. I am so interested in the complicated tangles of gender and race, society and revolution, perception and imperception.

The class was small - 7 or 8 of us - and Anastacia-Renee is a seasoned professor. She clearly adapted the material to our levels, allowing us all to remain engaged with the material and the subject at hand while challenging us to break out of what we think has to happen. Writing exercises included learning structures like Haibun, a Japanese form that begins with one or two paragraphs of non-fiction/autobiographical statements, followed by a Haiku or Tanka centered beneath, creating a fat T-shape on the page. We also tried various methods for wringing the truth out of our subjects, conveying story and emotion in various ways, and just being brave and curious enough to try new things. New structures, new genres, new combinations of forms...whatever brings our work to the next level.

I wish there were more of these three-hour master classes - I would totally go to this conference another day or two to fit in more of these events.

After the class, I had two hours before attending the Chuckanut Radio Hour in Heiner Theatre on campus. They do these every month, open to the public, for a $5 ticket. Mine was included with my registration for the CWC. First, I got dinner at Goji Fusion - a not-very-spicy-but-pretty-tasty tofu phad thai - across the street from WCC. I also pored over the schedule to come, choosing my classes and planning my time.

The Radio Hour was scripted banter, sketch comedy, and local endorsements performed onstage (and broadcast on local radio station KMRE 102.3. It's probably available to stream somewhere, like here, and as a podcast or something, too, but I am leaving that to you seek out. This night's musical guest was Louis Ledford, a humorous reading from a local poet, and sci-fi author legend Terry Brooks was interviewed by Spencer Ellsworth. 

When I left the theater, I stopped at the Fred Meyer to pick up a few things on my way to my friend's house. He works from home, and was behind on a project, so after I settled in a bit and we had chatted for an hour or two, went back to it and I got some sleep.

The next day was Friday, Summer Solstice, and the official start of the CWC. The whole schedule of events is here, but basically it went like this: one speaker/lecture in Heiner Hall, four break-out sessions to choose from, lunch, another Heiner Hall lecture for all, a second break-out with four more class choices, followed by various evening events. Thursday was the Radio Hour, Friday was a Faculty Reading and Reception, Saturday had a final reception and book signing, followed by four Open Mic Events in four different locations around Bellingham's Fairhaven area.

I could talk more about each class and teacher, and I probably will, but for now, I just want to share my Final Thoughts and Impressions from the weekend of events. I think I will do that in another post.

I had not yet made it back to my friend's house to catch the sunset over the lake there, but did snap a picture from the Fred Meyer parking lot. Such a large and lovely sky.... full of clouds and colors that just make my heart soar, even here, over an expanse of asphalt and automobiles. 

I've pretty much only been to the heart of historic downtown Bellingham in the past (usually stopovers for breakfast or lunch on the way to Canada) and on actual Chuckanut Drive - the most scenic road anywhere - but never in the outlying areas of the city. A lot of seemed rural enough to remind me of my childhood home in Harford County, MD, with rolling hills, pastures, small farms, green fields, horses, tractors, and tree-lined winding roads.

I wonder if the sunsets are always spectacular, if it's special to the solstice and surrounding months of summer?


The rest of the weekend was filled with classes and discussions, lectures and readings, writing and connecting. Here are a few photos I took during readings and classes:

Laurie Frankel teaches "Writing About Writing"

Lyanda Lynn Haupt discusses "How To Manage Creative Anxiety and Procrastination" 

Faculty Readings on Friday Night

Faculty Readings on Friday Night

 It was great to hear the variety of work presented by the Conference Faculty. Some were funny, some were serious. There was poetry, excerpts from novels, pieces of memoir, and others. Some read from published work, others read from their works in progress.

It made me want to seek classes from some of the authors that I had not made time for, since one cannot do it all in a conference with simultaneous offerings.

Books were made available in Syre Hall throughout the conference, but some were sold in the theater lobby the night of the reading and reception. Attendees had the chance to talk to each author and get as many books signed as they desired. All books sold by Bellingham's Village Books.

Another Mercury Retrograde Post - Great for Writers

I can't help but notice the common element shared by my last two posts. One in March, and one five minutes ago in July, what do they have in common? They were both written during a Mercury Retrograde (Rx) period!

OK, we are not officially in that astrological phase again yet, but we will be in 4 days. (At 4:14 PM PDT, Sunday, 7 July 2019, the three week Rx of Mercury begins.) There is often a Pre-Rx and a Post-Rx effect, and this month I am definitely experiencing that. I have written a bit about the Mercury Rx phenomenon before (here and briefly here), and there is plenty more available at other sources (like here, here, and here. I won't go into it again...but suffice it to say, the Led Zeppelin song "Communication Breakdown" is its regular theme song.

So far, the Rx shenanigans are evident in these issues:

• Hulu has decided to be glitchy and do things like keep raising the volume with no way to stop it except unplugging the TV
• Cable Box started blinking and the Guide and ON Demand are both in Error Mode
• Random bad timing with banking deposits and auto-withdrawals for extra fees
• Mobile banking app not accepting deposit (can't read a check)
• Massage client having wrong time recorded for appt. ( luckily we sorted beforehand)
• Phone connection spotty (calls and web)

So, I'm expecting a bit of a rough July. Mercury goes Direct at 8:58 PM PDT Wednesday, 31 July. Then there's that shadow phase... But, I love the particulars of this event for us creatives:

These periods are great for writers, who can now go back and polish off written material. It is now easier improve the material with detachment when proofing, rewriting and revamping. This typically leads to a better result.

Perfect! Exactly what needs to happen. What else is Mercury Rx time good for?

Overall, these three week periods are great for getting caught up with paperwork, and mundane, routine chores. Return phone calls from months ago, etc. Chances are that you get to leave a message rather than communicate in person. Should you opt to buy something with wiring then keep the receipts handy or buy adequate replacement insurance.

I also think of these periods (typically 3x year)  as good for any "RE-" task:

• Reflect
• Re-check
• Re-evaluate, re-assess, re-analyze
• Revamp, rearrange
• Restate, reiterate
• Reclaim, re-assert
• Rectify
• Recommit
• Refine
• Rewrite
• Respond
• Reconnect
• Recharge
• Reinforce

Off to recharge.

Did I Write That? Rebuilding a Writing Practice After Health Issues or Getting Derailed

Today I remembered a story. It involved a woman...and her daughter? on a drive in the country, who end up staying at a remote estate with their genius host. The host is a philosopher or a scientist or something, and as they women spend more time at the estate, more is revealed to be out of the ordinary. I don't recall many of the details, and as this tale popped into my head, I tried to recall where or when I had read it, or who the author was.

Then I surprised myself by recalling that I was the author.

I started this story half a dozen years ago, during a NaNoWriMo month. I don't think I hit my 50,000 word goal, and I never finished it. I think I remember getting bogged down in that middle-of-the-book-bog that so often grips me in the process of longer works.

Now, I've mentioned before that my iron levels have been dangerously low, and I've been dutifully taking my iron supplements twice daily for eight months now. I am fairly certain my ferritin (stored iron) levels, while still in the "normal" range, have been dropping steadily for several years. Which has resulted in a major decrease in my physical and mental energy, ability to be active, productive, and even awake.



I've been remembering projects, ideas, plans, and dreams lately, feeling like Rip Van Winkle waking up to realize that years have slipped me, unused. I've lost a lot of time.


I didn't submit anything for publication the last two years. I didn't finish the memoir I was sure would be done two summers ago. I failed at every planned task of writing, editing, planning, and even attending workshops and writing conferences.




I don't know that I will go back to this story of mine, but the fact that I had completely forgotten writing it is telling. I sometimes feel the need to give myself a bit of space to grieve what I've lost (health, time, productivity), but also feel maybe more of a push just to get back to it. I'm still rebuilding my work schedule - my regular writing hours, time to the business of my writing, time to do the editing and work of other writers I've made agreements with... I'm sometimes asked: Do you have to time to do this? And the honest answer is, "I don't know," but I am eager to try.

Percolating and Planning

Mercury is in Retrograde... from March 5th until March 28th. If you are unfamiliar with this, it just means that from Earth, it looks like Mercury is going backwards in the sky. Actually, the fast little planet is just making its way around the other side of the sun ahead of us. Why does this make any difference to us? No idea, but it sure seems to. Mercury is the planet of communication, and when it goes retrograde (about three times a year) we experience breakdowns in communication: inexplicable network failures, computer glitches, failed credit/debit transactions, phone problems, failed alarms, and human interaction errors, too - missed appointments, misunderstandings, etc.

It's been helpful to me over the past couple of decades to be aware of this event, because I used to get really frustrated with my computer, spend hours trying to fix errors or glitches, then give up just to find everything mysteriously in working order the next day. I also make sure to double check and confirm all my appointment times/days/places, and do any of the "Re-" and "back" items on my list: repair, re-tune, reiterate, review, reassess, and back up, backtrack, back off. Rest, ruminate, and research.

OK, so anyway... I've been active on research this week. I've been researching writing conferences, workshops, and events and filling in my calendar, planning on which events I want to do. So far, I'm definitely doing a Spring Revision workshop with my friend and amazing writing coach, Sonya Lea in May, and I am leaning towards attending the Write on the Sound conference in Edmonds. I've always wanted to check it out, but it's in early October, and I always take my big two-week trip in September/October, so it's never worked out. Also, the PNWA Conference is in September this year, rather than July, so that will be a busy time.

I wrote up a list of some of these events, calls, and events of interest for a newsletter to my writers group. I used to keep a calendar on the Meetup site, but they removed some of the features I used for this. I switched to sending out news every month or two, but totally fell out of that habit during my Year of Anemia. No energy for those things...now it's coming back.

I have two major project ideas that I have been sitting on for at least two years. I am currently researching both...gathering information and hoping to get a plan of feasibility in place soon. More to come later!

First Post of 2019? Picking up where I left off...

Now, where was I?

Oh yes! Anemia! My January blood test showed my iron level up from 5 (on a scale of 15-150) to 18. I'm over the crest of "healthy" levels... although how can there be a 135-point range of healthy iron levels to begin with??) I am still taking iron supplements twice a day, and my brain and body are starting to wake up.

I still have a LOT to catch up on:

• Friends, family, social contact that was lost to the narcoleptic haze.
• Getting back to marketing and newsletters - both my massage therapy business and my writing group newsletters have been idle. I started several articles, started several update letters, but never could keep my eyes open or my energy up long enough to finish the writing and send them out.
• Writing Practice! Very important one, here. I bitched and moaned a few times the last two years, as my energy fizzled, about not having the right place/space and time to write available to me. There may be truth in that, but my lagging health was not helping. 
• Submissions! Goes along with the inability to stay focused and awake. Since my progress was in such small increments, I never really finished anything and therefore had nothing ready to submit for publication. Must rectify that gap in my resume, now. 
• Plans for further creating classes and teaching and facilitation writing events. 
• Personal goals like getting back to regular exercise and continuing to go through, sort, and purge old papers, books, media, and stuff; declutter and organize.

I keep remembering ideas I had before my energy was depleted. Now, these ideas are coming back to me and I am trying to prioritize them and the steps I need to take to make them reality. Everything from business ideas to travel goals to story ideas... they are back on the front burner.

Do You Feel Tired All The Time? Do You Fall Asleep at the Wheel?

I do. When I'm driving my car, I sometimes hold my eyelids open with my fingers. If it's really bad, I pull over, take a nap for 10 to 20 minutes, then get back on the road. And my commute is only 20 to 35 minutes long. I have been falling asleep a lot the past 18-24 months - at the wheel, in my office, while watching TV or movies, while reading, while writing at my laptop... just all the damn time.

Regular Writing Time Is Regular.

Routine.

It is the backbone of any practice. My routine is different every day, but tends to have larger patterns over weeks or months. Historically, my writing practice has looked like this, after years of development:

• Sunday: Write at Starbucks from about 3pm (sometimes 4 or 5) til 7 or 9pm.
• Monday: Make copies of work for my Monday Night Writers Group feedback read
• Tuesday: May write between my massage therapy sessions, depending on time
• Wednesday: Day off
• Thursday: Often write between sessions or after work for an hour or two.
• Friday: Depending on schedule, may write here and there between sessions at work.
• Saturday: Write for about 2 hours after work. 

Additionally, I keep a dream journal that I write in every day that I recall my dreams...

I also keep a log on my phone (I use Evernote) of story ideas, character names, inspiring prompts, etc. to work with in the writing hours.

But this past year (or longer), my energy is been at a serious low. I sit down to write in between sessions at work, and within minutes have closed the laptop and gone into napping. I force myself to get out of bed at the last possible minute before I have to go to work or wherever I need to be; otherwise, I will just stay in bed and sleep...for hours - 10, 12, 15, 20...however long I can get away with. 

I have felt guilty about my lack of productivity. My fitness and exercise, housework chores, my business upkeep (newsletters, mailings, contacting colleagues, clients/patients, etc.), my reading, and my writing have all suffered. I just can't seem to make myself stay awake and get stuff done.

I have always tried my best to listen to my body, tend to my self-care, and respond to signals as best I can. For the past two years, I continued to ask myself these questions:

• Is this normal? Obviously not. 
• Am I depressed? I have no history of clinical depression. I am a fairly self-motivated, positive thinker, with a ton of ideas and inspiration sources. I know depression is not tied to our will or desire, but other than all the excessive sleeping, I do not feel depressed.
  
• Is it politically driven? Oh yeah, except for the fact that I am a woman in tRump's America...that is pretty damn depressing. Every day is a battle for equal rights, civil discourse, freedom of the press, freedom of/from religion, freedom of speech minus the spew of hate, body sovereignty, clean air, clean water, protection for endangered animals and nature, and more. The news is depressing, infuriating, and unbelievable. Ignorance and intolerance is rampant, and these fossil fuel pawns and anti-science dweebs ate destroying our very planet. So, I ask myself once again: am I depressed?

• Is my erratic sleep schedule to blame? I basically live like a vampire.
• I have always been a night owl - I come from a long lineage of night owls - but it has gotten way out of hand. Instead of going to bed by 5 am, I have been going to bed/sleep at 7 am, 8 am, 9 am, sometimes on a day off not til 10 am. I sleep as long as I can - maybe 3 hours, maybe 2 or 4 or 5. 6 is the minimum best, but even when I sleep 9 hours, I still wake up tired, so what difference does it make? I know regular (-ish) sleep hours are the best for health, and I experienced the effects of sleep deprivation firsthand when I was in massage school in 1998 and working two jobs and only sleeping 4 to 6  hours per night. Even with naps, I was not getting enough sleep, and my brain was unable to think a way out of that. I also gained fifty pounds that year... definitely a side effect of not enough sleep. 
  
• So, have I allowed myself to create this exhaustion cycle myself? Why can't I just go the eff to bed? Once I'm in bed, I usually fall fast asleep, so it's not insomnia. I am awake, in the living room, either reading, or writing, or watching TV or movies, or chatting with friends in other time zones, or whatever. My brain is very awake and active (even if my body is not) between midnight and 6 am.
  
• Is this related to my Adderall use? I have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and have been trying to find the sweet spot for dosage for a few years now. It's all trial and error. Since spring of this year, I've mostly been taking 15 mg when I first get up/have breakfast, then another 15mg 4 to 6 hours later.
  
  But Adderall can affect sleep. I don't take it anywhere near my "bedtime" but I wonder if it could be affecting my sleep, anyway?

I spoke to my doctor once again in October about my exhaustion and lack of energy and motivation. This time, she noticed just how pale I am, and decided to do a blood test on me for anemia. 

Two days later, the results are in: I am full-blown anemic! My iron level was 5, which basically means I had five red blood cells (not really, but may as well have been). The healthy range (according to allopathic western medicine; naturopathy and eastern medicine have more detailed ranges and meaning) is 15 - 150. Mine was 5. My other levels were low, too, and my doc told me to take iron supplements twice a day for three months and then get a follow-up blood test. She also told me to take vitamin C to help my body absorb the iron. 

I have been taking the iron and C twice every day for just over a month, now. I definitely feel the difference - I noticed I am more chatty, for one thing! I do recall wanting to tell someone some story or other over the past year, and thinking to myself, "meh, it's just not worth the effort." I have had several mornings where I wake up before the alarm clock and don't go back to sleep! I am excited at the prospect of being alert and having more awake time to be productive. Maybe I can get back to more exercise? Perhaps even the morning workouts at home I used to do? 

As of the diagnosis of anemia, I had only read 19 books (in 10 months?). I usually read about fifty to sixty a year, so I was behind by half. I can now stay awake and read more than 2 pages, so I'm happy about that, too. Especially since my book-BUYING rate has not slowed down this year... so much to catch up on!

When Excuses for Not Writing are More Than Just Excuses...

2018 seems to speeding by. Here we are, on the eve of Labor Day Weekend, and the proverbial end of summer.

Do you, or did you, have summer writing goals? Did you meet them?

Do you have a writing schedule for the year?
(When to write, when to revise, when to query, submissions deadlines, etc.)
Have you stayed on schedule?

Has your writing been clear? Easy? Or difficult, and muddled?

Have you been able to keep up on anything you planned this season?

If your answer is "yes" - congratulations! Job well done. I'm looking forward to seeing your progress in print!

If your answer was "no" or "not really" - welcome to my world. Join the club. I do believe a number of us are feeling down about this unfinished business in our heads...

I have been working on my memoirs, still, but in smaller and smaller spurts as the summer continued. I feel so behind on everything! Writing projects, travel plans, class scheduling plans, housework, shopping, reading...basically, life.

I don't know... it seems like I keep repeating myself, but my main obstacles to being more productive are:

1. Lack of writing space.
I've been working all year with an organizer to go through my apartment, pare down my stuff, reorganize my space, but I have not yet gotten to the office area. The current goal date is before my trip at the end of October.

The coffeeshops that I have always written in have all changed their hours, and I have been even more of a vampire with my own schedule, and I just haven't found a consistent time and place to work. When I force myself to do it at home, the bad seating gives me body pains. Must get the right new desk set up!

How I sit at a good cafe table, like my Starbucks...

Positions I end up at home, that make me ache!

2. I'm just busy, gah! 
This is true. I have stayed busy at my day job of massage therapist, in months when I usually have slowed down in the past. I'm grateful for the work, though! My social schedule has also been busier than other times of the year - lots of music concerts and events, several extra events for writers and even some extra group projects to take on. More on those another time...

I haven't been able to keep up with my book reading and editing schedule, either.

3. Smoke gets in my eyes...
Yeah, so living in the PNW, we are surrounded by wildfires. Especially the 800 or so fires on Vancouver Island... they make our air hazy, and also our brains!

Photo from KING5 News

Thank goodness the air has cleared in the past day or two, with wind and rain. Today, I saw clouds in a blue sky. But the mild headache all month, the need for hours of sleep (because the quality of sleep is not great), the fuzzy inability to focus (it's not just me!) and think clearly... all of this has cut into my productivity, and I need to accept that I am not fully responsible for this. These factors are real, and while I am feeling bad about not getting stuff done, I have to just get the rest, take the time, and know that it won't last. Already feeling clearer-minded, and here I am, at least writing this blog entry!

Know when to take responsibility for your work or lack thereof, and know when to stop fighting the negative influences of time management (don't lose sleep over losing writing time!), air quaility, health issues, and other unforeseen events. 

DO what you CAN, WHEN you CAN: if it's fifteen minutes of journaling, or five minutes of jotting down an idea for your story, or researching where to submit to publish instead of writing at that moment, DO IT. Any action taken towards bettering yourself as a writer, as a person, is a worthwhile effort. 

Don't kick yourself over what you didn't get done, be proud of what you did. Plan on writing a 15-page chapter this week but only get 1 page done? That's one more page than you had before! Move on. 

I have to constantly battle the voices that say I am lazy, or I never finish anything.... Just Keep Going. I keep a running resume of pieces I have finished, and pieces I've gotten published. See? The voice is wrong!